Get rid of the handles, Dude.

You can do it Jim Beam! Lose that weight!
You can go from being this:


To this:

Remember, when you slim down, you'll be just like a little bottle of Jim Beam from the hotel mini-bar: fun, friendly, and loved by all the ladies. That's right! I know my wife never said no to a mini-bottle, and likewise your wife won't say no to you! Petite, neat, and oh so sweet!

Unlike our fat friend Johnny Walker, who bailed out on our Weight-loss accountability group here in Houston.